gummiwolf | James Does Your Fandom; Bleach Edition

Title: James Does Your Fandom; Bleach Edition
Fandom: Bleach
Author: Kat
Rating: T
Chars/Pairs: Madarame Ikkaku, Ayasegawa Yumichika, James
Genre: Humor, Slice of Life
Warnings: None
Word Count: 542
Summary: James runs into some trouble while walking the dog.
A/N: This is part of my James Does Your Fandom series, where I drop my OC, James into a fandom and see what happens. This is also one of the drabbles I wrote of Kira's birthday (2012). Happy Birthday, Kira!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I do own James. I do not make any money from this fanfic whatsoever.

James was out walking Soma. The whole thing was a bit embarrassing. He was a rather large man with scruffy clothes, piercings, and bright blue Mohawk leading around a tiny black puff ball on a pink and rhinestone encrusted leash. One of these days, he would figure out exactly why Karl was punishing him like this, but not today. After Soma was done taking a piss on the lamppost, they were going to cut the walk short and make their way to the Dancing Goat Pub down the street. They didn’t give him so much as a second look when he’d bring the puppy in and Ricky and/or Thumper would be sure to show up sooner or later.

He got side tracked from his mission however, when he heard someone yelling, “I am not bald!!” around the corner from where Soma was peeing. All that was over there was a little café where hipsters hung out. Curiosity got the better of him and he went to investigate.

As soon as he turned the corner, he slammed into a tall bald man with red marks under his eyes. James heard someone laughing as he tried to reorientate himself.

Next thing he knew, he was being shoved into the nearby wall. Apparently, the other man was taking their little run in a bit seriously. James couldn’t help, but roll his eyes. He’d been in enough bar fights to know how the stupidest thing could just set someone off, but they were next to a prissy little café being laughed at by some guy wearing feathers on his eyes.

“Hey, I’m not looking for a fight here. I’m just walking down the street with my dog, man. Cool down.”

Apparently, this wasn’t the right tactic because next thing he knew, James was being treated to a bunch of long winded bullshit about fighting it out like a man and something about “the eleventh” was thrown in there, whatever the hell that was. After getting a good look at both of them, he wondered if they were off duty drag queens.

“Look buddy. I don’t give a crap. So, you were getting teased by your little girlfriend over there? Is that any reason to pick a fight with the first stranger you run into?”

Apparently it was. And the little one with the feathers decided to join in.

James limped away with Soma trotting along beside him. He was still trying to make sense of what feathers said to him. Something about sparing his life because he had interesting hair and a cute puff ball. The odd man seemed to like the way Soma had jumped up and bit baldy. It wasn’t his worst fight he’d been in, but damn close. He’d be feeling it for a while for sure and he’d never had his ass handed to him by a guy wearing feathers before. There was no way he’d ever be able to explain this to Karl.

James decided he’d just tell him Ricky and Thumper had dragged him into some trouble again. It happened often enough to be believable. Now, he just had to finish making his way to the Dancing Goat to sit and perfect his crock of BS for a while.