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Title: Family Planning
Fandom: Naruto
Author: Kat
Rating: OT
Chars/Pairs: Chouji/Shikamaru
Genre: AU, General
Warnings: None
Word Count: 553
Summary: Shikamaru gets a surprise at his temp job.
A/N: I was persuaded to add Chouji and Shikamaru to my Double Mart Universe, which is otherwise populated by Inuyasha characters, and this is the result. It's a little exciting because I've never made an AU for them before. Thanks Jen for the help with the slogans. Thanks Kira for pinking.
A/N: This was a challenge fic for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
hentai_contest, Prompt 62 “Bareback,” with a 666 word limit. I got a snazzy participation banner made by the ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kiramaru7:
And I won second place, which got me this banner made bykiramaru7:
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I do not make any money from this fanfic whatsoever.
“It’s just a temp job, it’s just a temp job, it’s just a temp job…” Shikamaru mentally reminded himself as he pulled his latest box of merchandise to stock across the store. He was stuck in drugs today. Earlier he’d been doing the mind numbing task of facing the pain relievers and if he had to shelve one more box of adult diapers, he’d scream. Now he had to set up a new end cap of “family planning” merchandise.
As he was arranging boxes of condoms already on the shelf, he was suddenly joined by one of his coworkers. Shikamaru was fairly certain his name was Chouji. There was no talking or greeting. He just opened the newly shipped box and started putting boxes on the shelf next to Shikamaru. It was strange but he let it go, trying to come up with where this other person normally worked. He was fairly certain he’d only seen the larger man in the break room, eating chips, which meant he probably worked in the warehouse and grocery, but Shikamaru had only been there a few weeks and was only a temp, so it was hard to know.
Suddenly, Chouji picked up a box, and holding it up like a TV spokesman, said, “Because the clap is whack,” and set it on the shelf.
Shikamaru stared at him for a minute.
“Bareback is whack?” Chouji offered.
“Whatever you say, Ms. Houston.” Shikamaru went back to stocking.
“Well, I don’t hear you coming up with anything.”
Shikamaru imitated Chouji’s earlier actions. “Because herpes is the gift that keeps on giving.”
Chouji tried another one, “Your favorite brand now in your favorite team colors, so think of us when you are sliding home!”
“That…was terrible.” Shikamaru thought a moment and said, “Take me to your wiener,” in his best ET voice.
Chouji grabbed another box. “We may not be the cheapest, but we’re cheaper than child support.”
“It’s still more fun than STDs.”
“Lame!” Chouji replied. “Now in a money printed pattern for when she wants to blow a hundred dollars,” he countered.
“That…okay, that was good.” Shikamaru tried to think of something to top that.
However, Chouji went out of turn, “Ribbed for her pleasure, damn awful things if you are on the receiving end.”
Shikamaru’s first reaction was to laugh, until what Chouji had actually said sunk in. Wait, does that mean? He looked over at his fellow trouble maker, who was happily, and now quietly, stocking shelves.
However, before Shikamaru could even try to figure out how to ask questions to things he couldn’t ask about at work, from a person he for all intents and purposes just met, the pin-head from the warehouse showed up.
“What are you doing over here? The sardines are all mixed up again, we got a big truck load of canned food that needs to be stocked, and power alley is picked over,” Kabuto snapped at Chouji.
“He was just borrowing my box knife.” Chouji smiled at Shikamaru and made his way back to where he was supposed to be.
Shikamaru was a little shocked to be hit on, at work, in such a subtle way. He busied himself with coming up with his next move, while finishing his end cap. Maybe this job wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Comments I received athentai_contest:
"LOVE it, Kat! their banter about the condoms was too funny! I hope these boys will be a regular fixture in your Double Mart'verse. :D"
"Hahahahaha! This is great! Funny and subtle and sexy all rolled into one neat little package! Loved it!"
"Double mart is open for business. I think these guys fit in really well to that verse, even better than it sounded at first. I want to see more of them now :D"
"This is great, I love the epic banter :)"
"*giggle* Ohh, their banter was priceless!"
Fandom: Naruto
Author: Kat
Rating: OT
Chars/Pairs: Chouji/Shikamaru
Genre: AU, General
Warnings: None
Word Count: 553
Summary: Shikamaru gets a surprise at his temp job.
A/N: I was persuaded to add Chouji and Shikamaru to my Double Mart Universe, which is otherwise populated by Inuyasha characters, and this is the result. It's a little exciting because I've never made an AU for them before. Thanks Jen for the help with the slogans. Thanks Kira for pinking.
A/N: This was a challenge fic for
hentai_contest, Prompt 62 “Bareback,” with a 666 word limit. I got a snazzy participation banner made by the kiramaru7:And I won second place, which got me this banner made by
kiramaru7:Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I do not make any money from this fanfic whatsoever.
“It’s just a temp job, it’s just a temp job, it’s just a temp job…” Shikamaru mentally reminded himself as he pulled his latest box of merchandise to stock across the store. He was stuck in drugs today. Earlier he’d been doing the mind numbing task of facing the pain relievers and if he had to shelve one more box of adult diapers, he’d scream. Now he had to set up a new end cap of “family planning” merchandise.
As he was arranging boxes of condoms already on the shelf, he was suddenly joined by one of his coworkers. Shikamaru was fairly certain his name was Chouji. There was no talking or greeting. He just opened the newly shipped box and started putting boxes on the shelf next to Shikamaru. It was strange but he let it go, trying to come up with where this other person normally worked. He was fairly certain he’d only seen the larger man in the break room, eating chips, which meant he probably worked in the warehouse and grocery, but Shikamaru had only been there a few weeks and was only a temp, so it was hard to know.
Suddenly, Chouji picked up a box, and holding it up like a TV spokesman, said, “Because the clap is whack,” and set it on the shelf.
Shikamaru stared at him for a minute.
“Bareback is whack?” Chouji offered.
“Whatever you say, Ms. Houston.” Shikamaru went back to stocking.
“Well, I don’t hear you coming up with anything.”
Shikamaru imitated Chouji’s earlier actions. “Because herpes is the gift that keeps on giving.”
Chouji tried another one, “Your favorite brand now in your favorite team colors, so think of us when you are sliding home!”
“That…was terrible.” Shikamaru thought a moment and said, “Take me to your wiener,” in his best ET voice.
Chouji grabbed another box. “We may not be the cheapest, but we’re cheaper than child support.”
“It’s still more fun than STDs.”
“Lame!” Chouji replied. “Now in a money printed pattern for when she wants to blow a hundred dollars,” he countered.
“That…okay, that was good.” Shikamaru tried to think of something to top that.
However, Chouji went out of turn, “Ribbed for her pleasure, damn awful things if you are on the receiving end.”
Shikamaru’s first reaction was to laugh, until what Chouji had actually said sunk in. Wait, does that mean? He looked over at his fellow trouble maker, who was happily, and now quietly, stocking shelves.
However, before Shikamaru could even try to figure out how to ask questions to things he couldn’t ask about at work, from a person he for all intents and purposes just met, the pin-head from the warehouse showed up.
“What are you doing over here? The sardines are all mixed up again, we got a big truck load of canned food that needs to be stocked, and power alley is picked over,” Kabuto snapped at Chouji.
“He was just borrowing my box knife.” Chouji smiled at Shikamaru and made his way back to where he was supposed to be.
Shikamaru was a little shocked to be hit on, at work, in such a subtle way. He busied himself with coming up with his next move, while finishing his end cap. Maybe this job wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Comments I received at
hentai_contest:"LOVE it, Kat! their banter about the condoms was too funny! I hope these boys will be a regular fixture in your Double Mart'verse. :D"
"Hahahahaha! This is great! Funny and subtle and sexy all rolled into one neat little package! Loved it!"
"Double mart is open for business. I think these guys fit in really well to that verse, even better than it sounded at first. I want to see more of them now :D"
"This is great, I love the epic banter :)"
"*giggle* Ohh, their banter was priceless!"
