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Title: The Sign is Going Down
Claim: FFFC 100th Special Challenge Table E: Weird AO3 Tags
Beta: Kiramaru7
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Character(s): John & Rodney
Author: Katt/[personal profile] spiralicious
Words: 571
Rating: Teen and Up
Summary: Rodney hates fairs.
Warnings: None, unless you need to be warned they are cattle.
Written for the prompt(s): FFFC 100th Special Challenge Table E: 39. cow!AU; [community profile] sga_saturday: week #236-239: "livestock"; [community profile] whatif_au: challenge #2: Cowboy AU
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

John loved going to fairs. Or at the very least he seemed to. He happily got in the trailer with no fuss. He posed for photo-ops and made funny noises when kids commented on the unusual unruly tuft of hair on the top of his head. He made sure the rides were gentle.

Rodney did not. He detested the flashing lights and the loud noises. He hated being crammed in the trailer. He especially hated trying to keep to the slow, lumbering pace that was expected of them during a ride.

Today was no exception. Rodney had been called “beefy” fifty-seven times since they had been put in the viewing pen post parade. He couldn't help it if he was thick and thoroughly muscled. He was a steer for God's sake! He was supposed to be! It didn't help that he was forever standing next to John, who was ridiculously long, making him seem much thinner than he was. Rodney often wondered how John's horns didn't unbalance the rest of him making him fall on his face all the time. Even with all that, being paired with John was one of the only perks for Rodney.

While none of the humans seemed to be looking, Rodney walked over to the side of the pen. Next to it was a sandwich board proclaiming, “Genuine Texas Longhorns! Get your picture taken astride the great beasts, $15 only. Ask about our riding schedule.” It was close enough, that if Rodney angled his head just so, he could knock it down with one of his horns. He hated it. Neither he, nor John, had ever stepped a hoof inside Texas. Rodney wasn't even bred in America! He also wasn't thrilled about being referred to as a “beast.” Nor did he enjoy his part time gig as a “kiddie ride.” Did he look like a pony? Granted, all of their passengers thus far had been adults, but that was entirely beside the point. The sign was going down.

“You know, if they catch you doing that again, you aren't going to get any of those apple treats.”

Rodney startled, briefly getting his horn caught in the fencing of the pen before he was able to pull it free. How the hell was John so stealthy? “It would be worth it,” Rodney said with a haughty snort.

“You say that now, but last time you complained the entire trailer ride home.”

“I'm hypoglycemic.”

“You heard that from that guy by the corn dog stand three fairs ago.”

Rodney was about to defend that he was, in fact, in need of extra feed and apple treats to keep his stamina up and that was the only explanation, when a small child approached their pen.

“Cows! Hello, cows!” The child held tightly to the fence, pressing his face as close as possible, apparently trying to make friends.

“Why that little! How dare he call us cows!” Rodney pawed the ground.

“Wait,” John interrupted his tantrum. “He has cotton candy.” John walked towards the fence as friendly as possible and pushed his nose through the open space between the metal slats.

The child squealed with joy and started aggressively patting John's nose, calling him, “a good cow.”

Rodney deliberated for a millisecond about intentionally subjecting himself to such indignities, but unattended small children always gave snacks and it was cotton candy after all.
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